I don’t go on a lot of dates.  Mostly because they tend to make me nauseated for at least 12 hours prior, but also because I resist structure.  Rules, authority, social norms… they all make me queasy.  I avoid attending ceremonies- funerals and weddings, church, even networking events have too much structure for me.  I need freedom.  FREEDOM!

But I went on a date.  It was fine.  It was fun, but I think we’re both feeling more of a friend vibe.  When he picked me up, I knew only his first name, his phone number, and that he owned turquoise pants.  Before I left, I emailed two friends and gave them his number. I told him immediately that I had done so, and he said what?  Do you think I’m going to kill you?  I said, no.  If I did, I wouldn’t have said yes to a date. On the other hand, I don’t want to end up in a Glamour article as the dead friend who should have known better.

I made it home from the date, completely unraped and unmurdered.  I’m not getting married, but it was fun times (after the nausea subsided) and it made me feel like a grownup.  Some parts were good (a sandwich from Melt), some parts were not as good (him driving away before I was inside).  Overall, I felt it was pretty successful, as my commitment-phobia usually extends to spending 2 hours with someone.

Give me another couple years, and I’ll feel safe enough to go on a second date.